For the NHL’s most dreary franchise, misery needs a moniker

For over twenty-five years, has any other franchise in NHL, perhaps even all of North American sports, had it worse than the fans of the Columbus Blue Jackets, dubbed some years ago collectively as the "5th Line?"

There are five teams in the "Big Four" of North American sports leagues (NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL) that have never made a conference championship game in their respective postseasons.

The NFL's lone example is the Houston Texans, who have experienced some regular season success, but have never made it to the AFC Championship. In the NBA, there's two, the New Orleans Pelicans and Charlotte Hornets.

None still exist in the MLB, and only the Seattle Mariners have never appeared in a World Series. In the NHL, there's two: the Seattle Kraken, who are just now entering their sixth season in the NHL, and of course, the Columbus Blue Jackets.

Technically, the Utah Mammoth also count here, but are hard to include given their direct connection to the Arizona/Phoenix Coyotes, who made a conference finals in 2012. Let's revisit in a few years if they haven't done it again by then.

Out of all of those, really only the Pelicans, Hornets, and CBJ have a claim to be the most "miserable" since their collective inceptions, and it's arguable that the Blue Jackets could take the top spot.

The Pelicans have won two playoff series in their time, last in 2018, and the Hornets have won 4, although their last was all the way back in 2002.

How many have the Blue Jackets won? Let's give them credit for... one and a half. There's, of course, "The Sweep" over the Tampa Bay Lightning in 2019, and then the 2020 qualification series against the Toronto Maple Leafs, which counts for postseason stats per the NHL, but not as a playoff series win, due to its "qualification round" standard.

That's it. Division titles? None. Presidents trophies? Are you kidding? 90 point-scorers? Not in Cbus.

Then there's the rest of the story. The draft busts like Ryan Murray, Gilbert Brule, and others. The high-profile player departures of names like Pierre Luc-Dubois, Seth Jones, Ryan Johansen, Patrik Laine, Kirill Marchenko, and others. The painful losing streaks. And, worst of all, the tragic passings of those involved with the franchise. Brittanie. Matiss. Johnny.

As I wrote about several years ago, it's difficult to believe that this franchise doesn't have a black cloud, bad magic, or genuine curse laying over it. At the time, I was half-joking about trying to put a "name" to the hex itself, but after the most tumultuous roster-construction summer in franchise history and the poor start the hockey club has gotten off to, I'm finding myself reconsidering.

I think it's about time that the 5th Line had a name to put to the misery we've been forced to slug through for over a quarter-century. The only question is: what is the name of it? Not knowing myself, I asked the CBJ faithful. We got some decent answers.

Each one has its own merits, of course. The Ohio Penintentary/John Hunt Morgan links were something I discussed in my 2024 article in detail. That Elmo balloon above the shoot-twice side of the Arena has really come into popular discussion in recent years.

And the one common denominator across all of the years of Jackets hockey is the ownership group themselves, the McConnells. Without Mr. Mac, NHL hockey would never have made it to Columbus, but since then? It hasn't been sunshine and rainbows.

So, what should we call it, Jackets Fans? Let me know.

Regardless, it's about time the 5th Line got a winner. Those of us waiting for as long as we have deserve one.

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