The Five Hole Fantasy Draft: Orange County Weight Shakers

Brianne Cole writes about her selections for this round of The Five Hole Fantasy Draft:

Team Name: Orange County Weight Shakers

For starters, I want to say my team name is a tribute to my Ducks peeps in and around Orange County that are down to shake weights. #youknowwhoyouare

My first pick is going to goalie Timo Pielmeier, property of the Anaheim Ducks. You likely haven’t heard of him and that’s understandable. His brief and only stint in the NHL came in relief of Curtis McElhinney in a 9-3 Ducks loss to the St. Louis Blues. Aside from that, he’s only played at the AHL or ECHL level. My love for him started when he was a Bakersfield Condor and continues. He’s a glorious German stud muffin with shaggy dirty blonde hair. What’s NOT to love?

First forward pick is Brandon Sutter. Brandon is hands-down one of the hottest men in the world to me. Meeting him for the first time was quite an experience; I practically had a panic attack in his presence. Even the freezing North Carolina winter weather was worth it in the end to see that tall, lanky piece of beef cake in front of my eyes. His presence on and off the ice is electric. Not only will he up the hot factor of my team, but he’s a solid defensive forward that I’m excited to see DO WORK next season.

Defenseman Luca Sbisa is next on my list. The fact that this smoldering Italian stallion is even still available is mind boggling. Luca was born in Italy but raised in Switzerland, giving him the beautiful looks of an Italian man coupled with the swag of the Swiss. Have you SEEN his dimples? The most underrated dimples in hockey, if you ask me. We all know who gets all the glory in that arena *coughJeffSkinnercough*. Did I mention Luca speaks four languages? English, French, German and Italian. Take that, Skins. 😉

If you follow me on twitter (@briannecole), you likely saw my Jake Stewart meltdown last night. My friends and I were watching Bruins/Canucks at ESPN Zone and happened to catch ( this guy) playing for Stanford’s baseball team. One look was all it took. He may only be a sophomore in college, but he’s my pick for my first ice man. He’s an extremely hot college baseball star with a smile and arse to die for. My loyalties are supposed to lie with my alma mater, Cal State Fullerton, but all I can think is “Go Stanford!”

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