Five Hole Fantasy Draft: It’s Good To Be A King Snake…

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There’s a reason they call them KING snakes.

They know what they’re doing.  They don’t have venom, but they can off a poisonous snake and eat it like fast food.  Other snakes run from this guy…he’s the King.

Well, now that I’m over my Blue Jacket love sickness (this morning’s picks) here are my final 3 selections for this round (again, for those of you who may have missed it, because of savvy business deals, I scored a double pick this round)

Ethan Moreau

Oh, shut up.  Is this guy REALLY a Blue Jacket or is he a wayward, displaced and mistreated Oiler?  A dude who is very much loved by the Union Blue, but feeling very cheated and betrayed by his first family?  Oh well, no matter.  This gorgeous man is a KING SNAKE now.

Height, weight?  Just right.  Tan…always.  Just a bit too arrogant, knows everybody in the room is lookin’ at him smirk? check.  Ethan looks like the hot, super-fit dentist at the country club everyone lusts after.  Or maybe a surgeon with a really expensive black car.  This guy reeks “rich snotty guy” and although, not my usual type, I fell even harder for him when he mentioned he loved a good book.  He photographs well and could be covered in pig sh*t and still look great.  (Unlike my boy Methot, who is lovely, but it’s about 50/50 he’ll take a brutal picture).

Well read and well-chisled…

Mike Carman

This fella is from the AHL’s Lake Erie Monsters.  I’m looking at this guy and I think with the right marketing spin and a trip to a good stylist (who will leave that sex hair  but gloss him up a bit…) this guy could make every cover of every schlocky “Hockey’s Hottest” magazine issues.  I love the grey-blue eyes….This guy can melt lead.

Brian Fahey

From the AHL’s Hershey Bears.  Love the hair.  He has nice eyes and a great smile.  Fantasy moment? I’d give this guy a Hershey Kiss in a heartbeat…

Hockey stats on my AHL guys….who cares.  They’re my King Snakes now.  That’s all you (and they) need to know…