Five Hole Fantasy Draft: Color Me Union Blue…


Welcome to Round 1 of The Five Hole Fantasy Draft.

For the last few days, we’ve been talking about this.  A true, no-kidding Fantasy Draft.  Well, here we are and it’s me with the honor of having the first selections (well, that and I made some pretty savvy business deals and twisted my pal Kristina’s arm almost off…) so without any more delay…I give you my selections for the very first ever Five Hole Fantasy Draft:

Could there be ANY other first pick?  There was no question as to who my first pick would be and why.  And why without hesitation he will be named Captain of The Puma City King Snakes even without a complete roster.

OK, so the dealio is we’re going for true fantasy here.  Yeah–your point?  Rick Nash is the complete um, package.  And yes, I’ll just say this upfront and get it out of the way: I tend to lust close to home.  My King Snakes will be loaded with Blue Jackets, as the Blue Jackets have without a doubt, the most beautiful men in the NHL. 

He’s a powerful presence, on and off the ice.  He’s wildly talented and pulls off the impossible plays when the team needs it most.  Rick is involved with the community and really seems to understand what being in the NHL means.  You won’t find him in the tabloids or stupid pictures of him drunk or naked on the Internet.  He’s disciplined and loves what he does.

Let’s just say Rick didn’t play hockey.  He’s the kind of man that would look good in anything, or any uniform.  There’s an honesty in Rick Nash that make him Columbus’ favorite son.  What Rick wears best? Confidence.  It’s true and it’s attractive and makes Rick who he is.

Antoine Vermette

Are you kidding?  Do you even need to ask why?

But if you had any ribbon of doubt (and you’d have that only if you were blind and nobody around could describe this Michelangelo’s David come to life) then here it is…

Vermette fell in love with his wife Karen when they were only teenagers.  They’ve been together a long time, they work together on the Blue Jackets’ many philanthropies, and he obviously thinks she’s the cats-pajamas.  This guy is sexual Armageddon, and his sweetheart love for his wife only makes it better…

Marc Methot

Listen, I like Marc Methot.  He’s cut from the “Rick Nash” cloth in my opinion.  He’s well-spoken, smart and very eager and willing to participate in Blue Jacket Foundation Charities.  He loves being an NHLer and a Blue Jacket, and Columbus loves him for it.  The best thing Marc wears? Honesty and confidence, like his team Captain.

Now that I’ve gotten my Blue Jacket love-sickness out of the way, I can get on with the rest of the draft that may or may not be this polite.  But my draft wouldn’t be complete without these players.  I wheeled and dealed to get the first picks and maybe it was rude to corner the market on all these Jackets.

And maybe, it’s just good to be the coach of the King Snakes….

…Check back for part two of round 1 picks….