Cup Of Woe…

Looking for Sunday Skate Sharpening?  Yeah…me too.

I guess if we were still playing, there would be a reason to sharpen them.  But, all of the Blue Jackets have gotten the hell out of dodge about a week ago, and the skates have the guards on, the Funk-B-Gone sashays in them and they’re on the shelf until we can get some ice time at the Chiller.  Yes, very sad.  YES, I know the playoffs are going on…but I’m not so much wearing the metaphorical skates as eating the metaphoric cheese and nachos at this point.  Ask any other Jacket fan…this year it sorta feels like we’re eating metaphorical turds.  Real ones, even.  Anyway…

It’s interesting.  I thought I’d be more involved than I am.  I’m embarrassed and proud at the same time to admit I’m such a Jacket fan, I have no “other” team.  Maybe the Blackhawks, and I’ve said that.  But, I mean as far as the “cat’s pajamas” kind of love like I have for the Union Blue…forget it.  I’ll lose half my Twitter followers if I keep up this weird angst.

This was me the other night:

Crazy fan of team A: OMG!!! Sick save!!! Can you believe that?!!

Crazy fan of team B: WTF was wrong with (insert player name here)? He HAD that shot!!!

Crazy fan of team A: @All the other fans of team B…LOL! Sorry, dudes! We came to PLAY!!!

FiredUpCannon:  I just ate a banana.  It had a bruise on one side.  Ate it anyway.

See? I can’t help it.  I’m really trying.  I’m trying to fall in love (and really fast) with some other team.  My pal over at Broad Street Buzz keeps campaigning for the Flyers.  The Rat Trick folk keep telling me to find my inner Blackhawk.  I thought maybe, I’d get in bed with the Sharks but it just feels so wrong after hating them all season.   This is worth saying again:

If I was on an Island and the only hockey was Detroit Red Wing hockey…and I was the only fan…I’d go to the other side of the Island and indulge in self-hockey.  So, that’s that.

I don’t like Vancouver.  I keep trying to pick like, the lessor of the Mary’s Most Hated.  But I’m fair and unbaised at this point…I hate them all equally and can’t imagine cheering on any of them for that coveted cup.  I’d like to see some of those teams take home a special cup.  Or a Styrofoam cup with some warm piss in it.  Sorry, that was harsh and this is a family show.

To hell with that, only hockey fans are reading and even the littlest of the little get it.

This is Palm Sunday and the beginning of Holy Week.  All next week I will pay homage to all things Holy within the hockey realm.  The Weekly Reader is out every Thursday.

Check out my conversation with Kristina from Cardiac Cane today.   She’s an Ohio transplant living in North Carolina and punch-drunk in love with Jeff Skinner and The Hurricanes.