Sometimes when I hear that a team will “take on Washington tonight” it conjures up weird thoughts. Kind of like when my kid would tell people “The Blue Jackets played their lawyers (Oilers) last night.” And I can’t tell you why, but I’d pay good money to see that one…
So, instead of Ovie and Chimera and all the other Caps, I think of all the Washington bastards that are running the show…uh, you know, the big show…our country. And then I think of what kind of great fun it would be to see our Blue Jackets (any NHL team, really) skate around, chasing politicians and pulling off perfect checks and hits. I bet even Toronto would excuse the head shots.
Of course, we’d all have to hide the Canadian boys in our houses when the government fuzz came after them…after so many of the political types were scraped off the ice and carted off to hospitals and urgent care centers…I guess expensive suits, loafers, dresses and blazers and pearls can’t hold a candle to real gear…maybe someone should’ve told them to at least wear a mouth piece…wait! They already know everything.
Would the Russian boys and Euro-boys be OK? Would our American guys have to sit that game out or would they be considered traitors if they played? Would politics stink up the NHL even and they’d be “healthy scratches” as to not make waves? But who wouldn’t love to see Jared Boll open a world of hurt on some smug Washington type?
Ever imagine seeing your most-hated Washington talking head get it right in the face with a frozen puck? Can you imagine oh, say T. J. Oshie skate past the victim…er, person who ate the puck muttering, “Sorry, man….” That would be one of the only things that would make me really like Oshie. But, back to the Jackets and these bastards…I’d like to see Stinger shove a few Washington types down the stadium stairs. I guess the “game” would turn out to be like, 4,500 to 0 and the penalty minutes would go down in history…and the catastrophic injuries would be news around the world. But then, so would the visual of all the politicians trying to out run (on ice) these hockey players with sticks…”Gaaaaaa!!!!” would be the yelp of the night. The only thing that would slow a few of the players down would be the brief cases thrown in complete fear, spinning down the ice. Maybe one player would jump over it, but maybe another would be tripped by it. Score one for the politicians! *crickets* Oh no, power-play…more broken teeth.
OK, I’m done with my fantasy. Like I said, weird visuals pop up. I guess we need to stick with the Washington dudes, NHL type. I do have a visual of those guys running the country.
“A hockey stick in every home and NHL Center Ice for everyone!” Sounds good to me….
Jackets at Captials tonight.