Well, we’ve already seen what can happen when a ref pretends he’s a mime in the middle of a game (Devorski, One-Man, exclusive show; “Ode to section 109 Fans” Nationwide Arena)
How about refs who, so it would seem have written their own game rules book? If you are a Columbus Blue Jacket, you’ve seen this. Plenty. And you experienced these free-lance maverick refs last night in Phoenix. This is only speculation but if anyone could have a glance at this book, it may look something like this:
High Sticking-
This is completely subjective! If you don’t feel like calling it, don’t. Everyone will just have to deal with things and there’s plenty of beer in the arena to quiet unhappy fans. Remember, you’ll never make everyone happy. Even if say, a team’s captain gets sliced in the face (over and over) it’s OK. He’s no doubt young and healthy and most likely good looking. He can take a few hits to the face. If he happens to bleed because of said hit, just watch him skate to the bench and shake your head like “No” and stretch your arms wide like “Oh, well…” Ignore profanities from coaches and players. If you need to, adjust your iPod earbuds and turn up the volume.
Slashing
Here, you are allowed to apply the Napoleon Dynamite clause. This means calling a penalty or not, and then proclaiming to everyone, “We call it slashing whenever we feel like it…GOSH!” Apply ND clause as needed, if you are officiating at a game with Columbus Blue Jackets, always use this. No limits. Repeat often to team captains, players in a heap on the ice, and of course to all the coaches.
Misc. Grabbing, Holding and General Dirty Play
If say, a team’s captain nearly has his jersey torn off his body, assess the situation: he’s not naked if the gear is still strapped on his chest and more than likely, he’ll be wearing Under Armour. So who cares? No harm or foul. If his head snaps back real fast because of how hard he was grabbed, well. Maybe the boy needed a good shaking. No telling what goes on in those locker rooms. You’ve just done everyone a favor by letting him get rattled. Eat another Junior Mint and skate to the other end of the rink.
“Kneeing”
Oh, big whoop. You’re the ref, you decide if you want to go through all the mess of lifting your arm and blowing that whistle. If the “offended” player is slow to get up, take a look and see if it is an open fracture or something is freakishly swollen and let the player crawl or limp to the bench. You will no doubt have to call something…to head off a riot.
But remember, Maverick refs…it’s YOUR call…or NO call if that’s what you want!
(Our Jackets, back in the strunk…4-2 Coyotes. )