Wanna know how to REALLY piss off a six year-old mini-mite?
Scream this: “Ryan Miller’s Got The Wiener-Stink!!!!”
Say it like you mean it, now…with feeling–and own it. It works best when you throw your head back, close your eyes and bellow with all your heart, consequences be damned. You may want to know how I’ve become so experienced with Sabre insults. It’s not because I was in debt to my pal Tim for months, not paying up on a bet until recently at CannonFest. It’s not because Buffalo came to Nationwide on the last game of the season (and fan appreciation day) and handed our boys a loss. No.
I saw this little bit of hockey-smack/venom unfold after a mini-mite practice. Imagine a bunch of half-geared up, sweaty baby boys playing hide and seek in the locker rooms…they can’t find one of their buddies and he refuses to come out…one clever dude has this kid’s number, and walks front and center in the room and says, “Oh, I’ll get him out…” and then proceeds to yell the offending comment about Mr. Miller…
Within nano-seconds, we heard a struggle, a rustling noise…like a giant alien rat fighting it’s way thru dry storage or something, then foot steps…running, running…then “WHO SAID THAT ABOUT MILLER?!”
Apparently, them’s fightin’ words…and they also flush out well-hidden mini-mite hockey players.
**Disclaimer…This story was inspired by a bunch of 6 year old hockey players. I’m sure Ryan Miller showers and changes his underpants. So don’t leave me a nasty comment…