Pick Your Poison: Playoffs Are Here

The world didn’t stop spinning, like I fully expected it to.  My beloved Union Blue’s season is over.  All of my boy’s are probably packing suitcases and burning up cell phone minutes trying to make arrangements to get the hell out of here and get to…where ever “there” is.  Home, girlfriend (the one “back home” who doesn’t know about the many in Columbus) family…reservations for some beach time.  I imagined all of the Blue Jackets come Sunday morning, padding around their homes in sweats and unbrushed teeth, flopped on  the couch and working on their third nap of the day.  Down-time.  I don’t know.  Maybe that’s not how it went. 

I Wonder How Many Jackets Planted Themselves Here Sunday?

With or without them, there’s still hockey to be played…the denouement, the pinnacle…the playoffs…The Cup.

I counsulted one of the most in the know, coolest hockey dudes ever for this post:  The Mini-Mite himself, Mr. EHL… my little fella, Ethan.

Ethan. Any Hockey Is Good Stuff...

 

Here’s a somewhat different take on the usual Playoff Predictions…

Wednesday’s Games:

Tampa Bay and Pittsburgh-

He Looks Like A Nice Guy. Who Wants To Rip Your Heart Out...(Victor Hedman-Tampa Bay, Tampa photo)

The Tampa boys look really mean.  Like (say you didn’t know any better…) just out of prison mean.  “Momma didn’t love me enough” kind of rotten.  It must have been a rule to frown or scowl when the team photos were taken.  Maybe the photographer kept making comments like, “Gee wouldn’t it really suck if like, three or four of you fellas broke ankles this season?”  Or maybe he was carrying on with this crap…”You know, so many young athletes end up blowing all their money and some are really poor after their all-too brief brush with glory.”   Game 1, Tampa…(EHL says Pittsburgh)

Phoenix and Detroit-

Ugh.  Two teams I really love.  Well, I like Phoenix because they have Rusty now.  I just can’t say who will win this one…Detroit fans are crazy and may kill everyone in the arena without really meaning to.  Game 1, Detroit…(EHL says Phoenix)

New York and Washington- 

More Of That Great Candid Stuff From Ovech-Cam.

Ah, Avery and Ovechkin…Maybe if Avery does something cool, or instead of tossing hats, throw purses?  And the stupid “Ovech-cam” ?  Both of these teams are annoying.  Maybe ALL of them will come down with seasonal allergies.  Game 1…I really don’t give a crap…(EHL says Washington)

Vancouver and Chicago-

I like Chicago.  Not when they play the Jackets.  I don’t like Vancouver, ever.  They could knit blankets for the homeless all summer and I’d still have a big problem with them.  Chicago’s ugly third jersey makes them look like skating Snickers Bars.  I’m all Chicago right now…Game 1, Chicago…(EHL says Vancouver)

Nashville and Anaheim- 

I don’t like the Preds.  They’re Jacket killers.  Well, they kill everybody…this is a tough team and I love to hate them.  I don’t like Anaheim, either…their goalie has a really cool mask.  I think this is a toss up.  This one will be determined by who does something stupid first. ( EHL says Nashville)

Hockey Food for Playoff Games: Hot dogs wrapped in biscuit dough, cheese and chips or chocolate chip cookies and a gallon of milk? (EHL…All of the above)  We’d love to hear about your favorite hockey food.  More to follow…

Keep tuning in…we’ll compare scores and see how we did.  If the boy does well with these predictions, I’ll take him out for a pizza.  Even if he doesn’t, there’s a pizza in our future so we both win.

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Tags: FanSided

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